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Papchester Cheesy Eggs

PapchesterCheesyEggs Master

League
England 4.6
Manager
Dave Armstrong
Founded
23rd March 2009
Home Ground
Estadio Bacon Barm (14,500), Super Smiley Lane, Papchester
Fan Club
The Pap Clappers
Club Nickname
The Pap Idols
Club Rivals
Hiphopanonamous,

FC Gawith, Waverly Saints FC, Team Siesing,

Yarmouth Town
Club Affiliates
Kendal Town Academy,

Mount Hutton, Frodsham Koala-Kittens,

Shotton Comrades


Papchester Cheesy Eggs are a mediocre Trophy Manager football club currently playing their trade in the unforgiving ranks of the English Division 4. The club was founded by Dave "Pappy" Armstrong as 'Papchester United' at the tail end of season 14, and is a growing club with high ambitions.


After a slow start to life in TM, which included awful signings, poor judgement and the sale of one too many home grown players, PUFC eventually got down to business towards the tail end of their first full season, eventually being beaten only by the infamous Waverly Saints FC to the Division 7.160 title but securing a worthy promotion as runners-up in the process. A second season saw a better grasp of the game unfold, as the Pap Idols ran away with the 6.54 title - with their lead at the top rarely slipping beneath the 10 point margin and often exceeding it. The title was won in ridiculous fashion, but this was the end of the simple life.


After a mid-table finish in their first season as a division 5 team, Papchester United fought against 5 other hopefuls for second place the following season. It was on the very last day of that season that Papchester stole second place from Hiphopanonamous in the last 15 minutes, picking up a single goal victory as the Happy hippos went down to a 1-0 defeat and in doing so securing PUFC's place in Division 4.


To celebrate promotion, 'Papchester United' became 'Papchester Cheesy Eggs' as part of a bet the manager made with a bloke from his buddy list, and the first chapter in the Cheesy Eggs' history will be to take on Group 4.6 with an ageing squad and a newly developed training ground.


The Club Edit

On the dawn of a soggy, rotten Monday morning, Papchester United were founded from perilous boredom and tiredness, thanks to a yearning for time-killing. Since that moment, the Slap Happy Pappers have gone from 7th division runners-up to a marginally more talented force, sweeping up needless transfers like tugboats sweep up Maccies wrappers on the Thames... With one title in the bag, and over 11 minutes every week spent managing the team, club manager Dave Armstrong is driven by the determination to take average players, foolish transfers, untested formations and a half-decent youth setup to the very top of the Trophy Manager ranks. Papchester United currently reside in Division 4.6, after gaining two successive promotions from their first two seasons in TM, a calamitous Season 17 in which 5th place was eventually gained, and a jammy as heel ending to Season 18 - nicking 2nd place at the death...


Team Colours Edit

Kits desgned by Mike, Dublin Bay Athletic

PAPCHESTERUNITEDS17smedit


Papchester Cheesy Eggs First Team Squad Edit

Goalkeepers Edit

12. Andy Murphy (England)

1. David Tudor (England)

27. Dean Liddell (England) -- *13 / *14 Early Bloomer

17. Sean Ferdinand (England)

35. Peter Bromyard (England) -- *11 Early Bloomer -- Blooming -- Predicted ASI: 5000 - 6500

36. Floyd Stedman (England) -- *16 Normal Bloomer


Defenders Edit

2. Norm Whitson (USA)

3. Daniel Agnew (England)

15. Pantham Wongsirasawad (Thailand)

26. Trevor English (England)

4. James Duffy (England)

5. Michael Vine (England) -- *20 Early Bloomer -- Blooming -- Predicted ASI: 24,000 - 27,500

29. Robert Sweeny (England) -- *14 / *15 -- Late Bloomer

30. Alan Black (England) -- *13 / *14 -- Normal Bloomer

28. Ansley Reid (England) -- *14 / *15 -- Normal Bloomer

33. Marc Hanson (England) -- *18 / *19 -- Normal Bloomer

31. Ben Williams (England) -- *13 / *14 -- Late Bloomer


Midfielders Edit

8. Bilal Khisamutdinov (Kazakhstan)

6. Matt Powell (England) (captain)

7. Simon North (England)

12. Billy Grant (England)

14. Luke English (England)

20. Robinson, Howie (England) -- *13 / *14 Late Bloomer

11. Kosta Ciric (Serbia)

22. Steven Ramsden (England) -- *14 / *15 Normal Bloomer -- Blooming -- Predicted ASI: 19,500 - 26,000

16. Darren Smart (England)

25. Simon Harper (England) -- *16 / *17 Normal Bloomer -- Blooming -- Predicted ASI: 15,000 - 20,000

21. Alan Lennon (England) -- *14 / *15 Normal Bloomer

28. Tony Hornby (England) -- *13 / *14 Normal Bloomer -- Blooming -- Predicted ASI: 10,000 - 12,500

34. Rob Lee (England) -- *13 / *14 Late Bloomer

32. David Ball (England) -- *15 / *16 Early/Normal Bloomer


Strikers Edit

9. Cesare Maconi (San Marino)

75. Bahir Molla (United Arab Emirates)


Team Photo (Season 18) Edit

PUFC-season18

PUFC Season 18













Home Ground Edit

Estadiobb

Estadio Bacon Barm, Super Smiley Lane Edit

Stadium Capacity: 17,000 all-seater

Record Attendance: 13,912 vs. Astoria Villa, 18/10/2009 - (lost 2-5)

History Edit

Estadio Bacon Barm was originally built as a Gateway Supermarket in 1984 and was converted into the home of Papchester United in 2009, following a 15 year spell as the world's first salad-powered bacon butty factory. The conversion work was undertaken by 1400 super chimps, 1200 of whom died during the arduous process, and the stadium was officially opened by popular Spanish Jacko impersonator Miguel Jacksones in February 2009.

Estadiobb3

Facilities Edit

General Facilities Pitch Facilities Off-Site Facilities
Parking Lvl 2 Roof: none Training Ground: Lvl 8
Toilets: Lvl 2 Undersoil Heating: none Youth Development: Lvl 6
Physio: Lvl 4 Drainage: Lvl 1 Medical Centre: Lvl 2
Lighting: none Pitch Covers: Lvl 1
VIP: Lvl 3 Sprinklers: Lvl 1


Club (Non)oursEdit

File:D7-gp160-s15-runup.png

Season 15 Edit

Division 7, Group 160:
Runners-up

File:Div6-gp54-s16-champs.pngFile:Tinpotchallenge-champs-s16.png

Season 16 Edit

Division 6, Group 54:
Champions
Tin Pot Challenge (Friendly League)
Champions
File:D7-gp160-s15-runup.png

Season 18 Edit

Division 5, Group 18:
Runners-Up


PUFC Data ArchiveEdit

Club Records Edit

  • Most points in a season: 73 (Season 16, Division 6.54 - Final Position 1st)
  • Least points in a season: 52 (Season 17, Division 5.18 - Final Position 5th)
  • Most Goals scored in a season: 69 (Season 18, Division 5.18 - Final Position 2nd)
  • Least Goals scored in a season: 41 (Season 17, Division 5.18 - Final Position 5th)
  • Most Goals conceded in a season: 51 (Season 18, Division 5.18 - Final Position 2nd)
  • Least Goals conceded in a season: 23 (Season 16, Division 6.54 - Final Position 1st)
  • Biggest Victory: 6-0 (vs CSKA MOSCOW1, Season 18, Division 5.18, 3/1/2010)
  • Heaviest Defeat: 0-4 (vs Newcastle City FC, Season 17, FL, 20/10/2009)
  • Highest Home Attendance: 13,912 (vs FC Astoria Villa, L, 18/10/2009) (lost 2-5)


Youth Development Edit

Week-by-Week

Season Week YD Rating(s) Player(s) Drafted
17 07/11/2009 7 *3 *7
17 14/11/2009 7 *6 *7 *18 Michael Vine (*18)
17 21/11/2009 7 *10 *16 Simon Harper (*16)
17 28/11/2009 7 *6 *6 *5
17 05/12/2009 7 *5 *8 *13 Alan Lennon (*13)
18 12/12/2009 7 *10 *11 Tony Hornby (*11)
18 19/12/2009 7 *5 *6 *8
18 26/12/2009 7 *7 *7
18 02/01/2010 7 *5 *7 *10
18 09/01/2010 7 *4 *7 *9
18 16/01/2010 7 *4 *6 *10
18 23/01/2010 7 *6 *9 *11 Howie Robinson (*11)
18 30/01/2010 7 *5 *12 *15 Robert Sweeny (*12), Steven Ramsden (*15)
18 06/02/2010 7 *6 *10
18 13/02/2010 7 *4 *11 *14 Ansley Reid (*11), Alan Black (*14)
18 20/02/2010 7 *5 *7 *13 Ben Williams (*13)
18 27/02/2010 7 *5 *6 *8
19 06/03/2010 7 *5 *6 *14 Dean Liddell (*14)
19 13/03/2010 7 *9 *10
19 20/03/2010 7 *5 *6
19 27/03/2010 6 *5 *15 David Ball (*15)
19 03/04/2010 6 *14 *19 Rob Lee (*14), Marc Hanson (*19)


Totals (since 07/11/2009)

Rating Total
*1
*2
*3 1
*4 3
*5 10
*6 9
*7 7
*8 3
*9 3
*10 6
*11 3
*12 1
*13 2
*14 3
*15 2
*16 1
*17
*18 1
*19 1
*20



Club League History Edit

Season League P W D L F A Pts GD Position Cup
15 7.160 34 19 8 7 55 27 65 28 2nd Rnd 3
16 6.54 34 22 7 5 60 23 73 37 1st Rnd 3
17 5.18 34 15 7 12 41 43 52 -2 5th Rnd 3
18 5.18 34 19 5 10 69 51 62 18 2nd Rnd 3


Player League History Edit

Season MotM Average Rating Goals Assists
15 M Powell (8) M Powell (6.60) S North (11) L Derbyshire (11)
16 D Neville (4) L Derbyshire (6.35) Y Aladjov (13) D Neville (9)
17 L Derbyshire (5) M Powell (6.35) C Maconi (9) S North (7)
18 L Derbyshire / C Maconi (4) C Maconi (6.42) C Maconi (23) L Derbyshire (11)


Transfer Records (in) Edit

Season Player Position ASI Fee
15

(1) Renee Sopko

(2) Salvatore Millino

(3) Norm Whitson

F C

F C

D CR

1,710

609

2,022

$10,235,690

$5,500,000

$4,754182

16

(1) Edimar Nascimento

(2) Dave Park

(3) Billy Grant

GK

OM L

M C

7,795

3,265

3,437

$15,971,996

$11,651,132

$10,955,344

17

(1) Cesare Maconi

(2) Bilal Khisamutdinov

(3) Dominic Wilkerson

F C

M C

DM L

8,922

6,187

4,204

$32,642,186

$26,894,018

$10,761,113

18

(1) David Tudor

(2) Darren Smart

(3) Alfonso Kling

GK

OM L

GK

5,460

5,016

5,361

$38,103,062

$34,690,133

$17,164,597

19

(1) Abda Al Assas


(2) Luke English

D R


M R

8,455


3,265

$10,768,908


$115,975


Transfer Records (out) Edit

Season Player Position ASI Fee
15

(1) Addy Taylor

(2) Alan Richards

(3) Homer Quigley

M L

GK

M L

10,186

394

2,650

$15,958,046

$3,269,225

$2,575,687

16

(1) Steve Curran

(2) Renee Sopko

(3) Mahmoud Hawass

M C

F C

DM C

2,381

1,913

2,256

$23,515,125

$15,222,616

$11,314,087

17

(1) Joshua Tyler

(2) Dumitru Dica

(3) Gunter Sander-Sorensen

D C

DM R

D L

2,022

3,617

3,265

$11,586,399

$8,016,702

$3,597,010

18

(1) Edimar Nascimento

(2) Alfonso Kling

(3) Sebastian Fontana

GK

GK

OM L

7,227

5,836

5,188

$67,343,753

$11,963,801

$10,901,287

19

(1) Dave Mawson

(2) Cornel Moldoveanu

(3) Mike Thompson

OMC / F

DM R

M R

3,199

3,333

2,566

$23,325,632

$6,326,819

$4,585,915


All Time Player Stats (Correct to 09/03/2010)Edit

Player Name Nationality Position Played Goals Assist Prod MOTM ASI Peak Tran In Tran Out Awards / Accolades
Agnew, Daniel England D L 131 1 10 11 5 3,265
Al Idrissi, Kedar Saudi Arabia GK 32 0 1 1 2 2,524 $1.0M $1.0M "Bargain GK"
Aladjov, Yordan Bulgaria F 30 13 6 19 1 3,101 $6.2M $3.4M
Al Assas, Abda Quatar D R 2 0 0 0 0 8,455 $10.8M
Black, Alan England D C 0 0 0 0 0 49
Charlton, Rob England DM CR 0 0 0 0 0 13 $40.0k
Ciric, Kosta Serbia OM L 13 4 4 8 0 16,157 $10.8M Highest ASI for your dollar
Coms, Adrian England OM C, F 0 0 0 0 0 17 $10.5k
Curran, Steve England M C 30 3 6 9 2 2,381 $23.5M "Most Overpriced Veteran"
Dean, Tony England DM CR 30 6 4 10 0 1,526 $7.0M
Derbyshire, Leighton England OM LC 138 33 36 69 17 13,689 Record Assists, Record Productivity
Dica, Dimitru Romania DM R 10 1 1 2 0 3,617 $4.8M $8.0M
Duffy, James England D C 63 0 4 4 1 3,316 $5.0M "Bargain English DC"
English, Trevor England D LC 8 0 0 0 0 2,356 $2.0M
Evans, Landon England F 25 6 10 16 1 2,458 $2.4M $997.6k
Fontana, Sebastien France OM LC 53 6 11 17 2 5,289 $2.9M $10.9M
Garrosa, Rafael Spain M L 5 1 0 1 0 3,101 $977.0k $1.2M
Grant, Billy England M C 38 4 3 7 0 5,736 $11.0M
Gray, David England M/OM R 1 0 0 0 0 105 $11 Record Lowest Player Sale
Gregson, Scott Scotland M C 4 0 0 0 0 4,204 $1.8M $1.4M "Worst Signing: Season 16"
Harper, Simon England OM R 3 0 0 0 0 985
Hawass, Mahmoud Egypt DM/M C 6 0 1 1 0 3,006 $2.3M $11.3M
Hillside, Brian England DM R 12 0 0 0 0 1,139 $1.7M
Hornby, Tony England DM CR 0 0 0 0 0 346
Huddlestone, Ralph England DM L 10 0 0 0 0 2,256 $139.4k $569.9k
Johnson, Sam England DM C 25 7 2 9 0 1,913 $2.9M
Jones, Tony England F 3 1 0 1 0 1,009 $2.1M
Khisamutdinov, Bilal Kazakhstan M C 51 11 4 15 0 7,974 $26.9M
Kling, Alfonso Germany GK 13 0 0 0 0 5,943 $17.2M $12.0M "Worst Signing: Season 18"
Krzynowek, Cezary Poland M L 7 1 0 1 0 3,265 $4.5M $2.5M
Kuperman, Yosef Israel OM R 71 15 14 29 5 6,158 $5.1M "Bargain Productivity"
Lamb, Collin England M L 9 1 2 3 0 467 $3.1M Most Profitable Youth Pull
Larsen, Frode Norway M L 0 0 0 0 0 3,437 $677.7K
Lennon, Alan England OM L 0 0 0 0 0 141
Liddell, Dean England GK 0 0 0 0 0 104
Maconi, Cesare San Marino OM C, F 59 34 13 47 6 10,186 $32.6M Top scorer, 5.18, Season 18 (23 goals)
Maddox, Phillip England OM LC 0 0 0 0 0 1,209 $256.3k
Mawson, Dave England OM C, F 14 2 2 4 1 3,006 Club's first Youth Draft to Score for 1st Team
McDonald, Joshua England DM C 10 0 3 3 0 2,256 $2.0M
Millinio, Salvatore Italy F 5 1 0 1 0 694 $5.5M $936.7k "Worst Signing: Season 15"
Moldoveanu, Cornel Romania D/DM R 6 0 0 0 0 3,350 $525.0k $6.3M
Molla, Bahir UAE F 2 0 0 0 0 3,901 $7.6M
Morris, Cecil England D LR 77 0 9 9 2 2,640 $94.7K
Murphy, Andy England GK 24 0 2 2 0 3,949
Nascimento, Edimar Angola GK 69 0 0 0 3 7,795 $16.0M $67.3M Record Player Sale, Record Player Profit
Neville, Danny England D C 113 1 19 20 10 2,860 $610.5k Club Captain Season 14 to Season 17
North, Simon England M CR 142 31 31 62 14 4,396
Park, Dave S. Korea OM LC 14 2 4 6 0 4,000 $11.7M $8.2M Nicknamed "Dave" due to lack of first name
Powell, Matt England DM C 131 20 15 35 11 11,650 Club Captain Season 18 to Present
Quigley, Homer England M L 1 0 0 0 0 2,650 $2.6M Scored Hattrick Vs PUFC for Jersey Hammers
Ramsden, Steven England DM / MC 0 0 0 0 0 150
Reid, Ansley England D CR 0 0 0 0 0 17
Richards, Alan England GK 4 0 0 0 0 394 $3.3M
Robinson, Howie England OM C, F 0 0 0 0 0 100
Saiz, Alejandro Spain OM C, F 13 3 3 6 0 1,913 $3.8M $2.4M
Sander-Sorensen, Gunner Denmark D L 6 0 1 1 0 3,265 $5.5M $3.6M
Smart, Darren England OM L 18 5 3 8 2 5,930 $34.7M
Sopko, Renee Slovakia F 37 16 3 19 5 1,913 $10.2M $15.2M
Stevens, Joshua England D/DM L 2 0 0 0 0 354 $250.0k
Sweeny, Robert England D R 0 0 0 0 0 167
Taylor, Addy England M L 49 10 4 14 1 10,186 $16.0M "The Sacrifice": Sold for the Greater Good
Taylor, Luke England D R 2 0 1 1 0 788 $10.0M
Thompson, Mike England M R 1 0 0 0 0 2,539 $2.1M
Travis, Scott England DM L 2 0 0 0 0 2,420 $797.5k $2.2M
Tudor, David England GK 24 0 1 1 2 9,843 $38.1M Record Transfer Fee Paid
Tyler, Joshua England D C 3 0 0 0 0 2,022 $3.1M $11.6M
Vine, Michael England D L 12 0 2 2 0 3,150 Club's first *18 Youth Draft
Whitson, Norm USA D CR 70 1 2 3 2 2,928 $4.8M Club's Longest Surviving Purchase
Wilkerson, Dominic USA DM L 1 0 0 0 0 4,640 $10.8M $6.1M "Worst Singing: Season 17"
Williams, Ben England D C 0 0 0 0 0 121
Wongsirasawad, Pantham Thailand D/DM C 52 2 5 7 2 4,528 $5.3M
Zytomierski, Jan Poland D C 1 0 0 0 0 2,136 $840.5k $982.5k


to be continued...